Posted under General & Marketing Massage for Special Populations & Massage for Elders
Hello all,
I had an experience recently that was such a great teacher about how my perception of a situation is truly only MY perception. The situation also required me to have a clear understanding of my professional boundaries. I want to share my experience with you because any of us who work in eldercare or hospice have frequent opportunities to see situations from another’s perspective and to respond while respecting our ethical boundaries. I hope my little story will serve as a teacher for you, too.
For about six years I’ve seen a client for Compassionate Touch sessions in a long term care facility– a young woman who is in a comatose state. Her grandmother is a devoted caregiver and spends about 40 hours a week at her bedside. Since she is usually present I have developed a nice relationship with her and at times provide massage for her too.  She recently discovered a lump in her breast and she shared this with me. Since she is a breast cancer survivor she was quite concerned. She told me that if she has a recurrance of cancer, she doesn’t want to go through the intensive treatment like she went through before. Then she went on the tell me about when she told her grown son about her choice, he responded by scolding her that she was being selfish and not thinking about others in her family. I have to admit that I was a little stunned to hear this because it was just not what I assumed his reaction would have been. She then asked me what I thought she should do.
The challenge? First to leave my own perceptions and judgments out of it. It would have been inappropriate for me to somehow collude with her or say that I thougth her son’s reaction was not fair to her. Secondly, it brought up some ethical issues about a person’s right to choose, or not choose, treatment for serious illness. My role, as a massage therpist, when faced with these situations (and they DO come up) is to simply be an active listener– period. I am not there to advise or give my opinion.Â
It’s important to be able to recognize when our reaction to a situation is coming from our own perceptions. With that awareness we then can be clear about our professional boundaries and respond within them. Do you have a situation to share that brought up these kind of ethical concerns? Take a minute to respond– we’ll all benefit from it.Â
Warm regards,
Ann
Sandra Cherry, LMT on 27 May 2009 at 11:50 am #
I recently massage the mother of a toddler who has brain a malignat brain tumor. It was SPA Night a Ronald McDonald House, in recognition of Mother’s Day. At the end of the session, the mother of the toddler began to cry and this what she released, My 3 year old son has brain cancer. The doctors attempted to operate on him but had to close him back up because there was too much swelling. They said they will try again if the swelling goes down. I was raised as a Christian so I know there is a God. I never had sex before marriage because I want to be clean for my husband and give him perfect babies. I come from a small family and everyone has always leaned on me. I have always been the pillar in the family. Now I’m trying to be strong for my husband since I gave him a sick baby.” As she got off my chair, she apologized for laying this on me. She asked me if she was allowed to give me a hug, and smiled as she said, “I feel like a burden has been lifted from me.” This was definitely a “just being present” moment. Too many raw emotions are at stake here. Knowing your boundrie is key.