Touching Lives in Eldercare and Hospice

Hello all,

I had an experience recently that was such a great teacher about how my perception of a situation is truly only MY perception.  The situation also required me to have a clear understanding of my professional boundaries.  I want to share my experience with you because any of us who work in eldercare or hospice have frequent opportunities to see situations from another’s perspective and to respond while respecting our ethical boundaries.  I hope my little story will serve as a teacher for you, too.

For about six years I’ve seen a client for Compassionate Touch sessions in a long term care facility– a young woman who is in a comatose state.  Her grandmother is a devoted caregiver and spends about 40 hours a week at her bedside.  Since she is usually present I have developed a nice relationship with her and at times provide massage for her too.  She recently discovered a lump in her breast and she shared this with me.  Since she is a breast cancer survivor she was quite concerned.  She told me that if she has a recurrance of cancer, she doesn’t want to go through the intensive treatment like she went through before. Then she went on the tell me about when she told her grown son about her choice, he responded by scolding her that she was being selfish and not thinking about others in her family.  I have to admit that I was a little stunned to hear this because it was just not what I assumed his reaction would have been.  She then asked me what I thought she should do.

The challenge? First to leave my own perceptions and judgments out of it. It would have been inappropriate for me to somehow collude with her or say that I thougth her son’s reaction was not fair to her.  Secondly, it brought up some ethical issues about a person’s right to choose, or not choose, treatment for serious illness.  My role, as a massage therpist, when faced with these situations (and they DO come up) is to simply be an active listener– period.  I am not there to advise or give my opinion. 

It’s important to be able to recognize when our reaction to a situation is coming from our own perceptions.  With that awareness we then can be clear about our professional boundaries and respond within them.  Do you have a situation to share that brought up these kind of ethical concerns?  Take a minute to respond– we’ll all benefit from it. 
Warm regards,
Ann

No Comments »

New Year’s Greetings!
I picked up a USA Today while traveling for the holidays and there was an article about how caregivers of people suffering from Alzhiemer’s disease handle the holidays.  It states that there are 50 million family caregivers in the U.S.– that’s a lot of people living with the daily toll of caring for the needs of their loved one.  How does that impact the massage therapy community?  Many of us have clients, friends, neighbors or family members who are, or will be, caregivers.  We can offer our support by acknowledging the situation and contribute to the quality of life of the caregiver. Don’t be silent about it.
The article states:
“Family members not directly involved in caregiving may want to focus on the caregiver’s needs.  Everybody asks ‘How’s John?’ or ‘How’s Dad?’.  They don’t ask how the family caregiver’s are. They’re the invisible ones. The research shows their health is very much at risk.”
We know the positive impact of massage on body, mind and spirit.  We have a lot to offer these caregivers and truly make a difference.
How do you think your service might ease the burden of a caregiver?
All the best to you in 2009! I look forward to hearing from you.
Ann

No Comments »