Posted under Marketing Massage for Special Populations & Massage for Elders & General
Hello all,
Millions of people in the United States find themselves caring for aging parents or partners. They’re often the last to ask for help, but when caring for another, they are themselves among the neediest. I know of one case that illustrates this common situation so clearly. An 80 year old woman I’ll call Ruth, living with dementia and other health conditions, was a hospice patient being cared for by her daughter, “Helen” in her daughter’s home. Helen is a very attentive caregiver in her family. In addition to her ailing mother, she also took care of her grandbaby during the day. I received a referral from hospice to see Ruth for massage. Ruth was consistently content, happy and obviously her needs were being met. The home was a constant whirlwind of activity– grandchildren in and out, phone ringing, hospice caregivers coming and going, etc. On about my third visit, there appeared another woman who was about Ruth’s age– she was Helen’s mother-in-law and she was also going to be staying in the home! Well, if Helen wasn’t overwhelmed by all the activity, I sure was! Helen seemed at first to take it all in stride, responding to everyone’s needs with a smile and a patience that I admired. But I began to notice little clues that it was taking a toll– fewer smiles, taking the opportunity for a couple minutes of rest when I was attending to Ruth. One day, I offered Helen a ten-minute massage. When I asked her if she would like to receive a massage, her eyes teared-up and her lips trembled. She seemed so profoundly grateful that someone acknowledged her weariness. In those first 10 minutes, she talked about how exhausted she was becoming and about her fears of not being able to do it all for much longer. That was 8 months ago– she is still there caring for all those people! She has continued to receive massage regularly and she reports that it has helped her deal with the stress and feel cared for.
Massage is a powerful way of caring for the caregiver and I think we should at least invite the caregiver to consider massage to help cope with a difficult situation. It can make such a difference and uplift the lives of all involved– our own included!
Until next time, enjoy the beauty of Spring!
Ann
Pam :) on 10 May 2008 at 10:30 pm #
I agree the patients/family members are being taken care of. Someone needs to take care of the caregivers! I work out of a Hospital and only give massages to the staff. I am in the process of working it out with the hospital to allow me to also offer massages to family members.
I feel so strongly about this and have a great passion for taking care of the ones doing all the caring!!!
Pam
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Annie on 21 May 2008 at 8:10 am #
Thank you for highlighting this important opportunity to provide support for caregivers. Sometimes the energy involved in taking care of a fragile loved one is so great that often the caregivers well-being is compromised, especially if they are not used to practicing self-care. The simple, yet powerful offering of a nurturing massage and a focused, listening presence to the caregiver allows them to rediscover their wellspring of loving care. Everybody benefits!
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Leesa Nesty on 21 May 2008 at 7:23 pm #
Yes, I agree wholeheartedly that massage for the caregiver is so beneficial. Last May [2007] my mother was dying of breast cancer that had metastasized to her liver and bones. Nine months before I went from having two fully capable and functioning parents to two hospitalized parents in life and death situations when my father suffered a major heart attack and then continued to develop more problems following his surgery. My mother’s condition from that point worsened quickly and she was hospitalized simultaneously with my father.
For those nine months my life changed dramatically and was extremely stressful. I did not feel I could take the time to care for myself.
Finally, a week before my mother passed away I was so stiff, sore, tight and miserable, so I scheduled a massage for myself. My therapist was so kind and considerate. As soon as he began, I felt myself relaxing and the tears I had never shed all that time began to flow non-stop. The massage was very healing physically and emotionally.
I recommend making exercise and massage therapy part of your routine when you’re in a caregiving situation.
I learned the hard way that you can give better care to someone else when you take care of yourself first.
This is so crucial! It is not being selfish; it’s being smart!
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