Posted under Massage for Elders & General
In a November issue of USA Today (11/13/07) there was an article about retired Justice Sandra Day O-Conner’s husband, John. John has Alzheimer’s disease and lives in a Phoenix care facility. The article focused on the fact that John found a new love in the facility- a woman who also has Alzheimer’s. Mrs. O’Conner’s reaction to this development was one of relief and gladness that her husband had found a bit of happiness in the midst of suffering from dementia.
I recently saw the 2007 movie Away From Her starring Julie Chistie who beautifully portrays a woman with Alzhiemer’s disease and she, too, finds a satisfying relationship with a man in the faciltiy where she resides. Her husband in the film responds with bittersweet understanding and compassion for his wife.
I wonder how common this occurs in couple’s struggling with the challenges of this disease.
In the USA article, Peter Reed, senior director of the Alzhiemer’s Association is reported as saying that “ the underlying causes of this are fairly common. Though paitients lose their cognitive abilities and experience mood changes, one of the things that doesn’t go away is the need for relationships”. It would seem that this part of our humanity remains intact no matter what life may throw our way.
What do you think?
Alice Rainbolt on 04 Jan 2008 at 7:11 pm #
I volunteer as a massage therapist for a local hospice. One of the ladies I see is a patient in an Alzheimer’s unit. When I went to see the patient, the activity therapist told me the patient was sleepy and withdrawn related to new medication. I talked to her gently and asked for permission to give her a little massage and she responded with a nod. She was sitting at a table by herself in the dining area. The activity therapist was playing Christmas carols and having a sing along. As I began to massage my patient, the therapist said a smile began to form on her face. I continued the massage on her face, neck and shoulders when I began to hear her little voice sing the words to the Christmas carol. When I bent down to look at her face, there was a big smile and her eyes were open - she was engaged in the social activity of singing AND was singing all the right words which was more than I could do. The activity director was thrilled and more determined than ever to do hand massage for all the patients.
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Irene Smith on 05 Jan 2008 at 10:11 pm #
I actually find the thought that someone would not seek relationship very strange. Every cell in in a living being is in relationship with the next cell. Life does not exist except in relationship and one is always drawn to the piece that fits its current organic expression.
With Alzheimer’s Disease the spouse may not be emotionally remembered which may free the patient to experience momentary emotional involvement with others
The body however will rarely forget the tactile or rhythmic expression of the original relationship. If the spouse continues to touch and learns to speak slowly the body will remember through tone and texture .The opportunity for a current relationship , based on involvement rather than attachment exists .The challenge is one may not be able to appreciate involvement without the original commitment.
I provided touch services in an advanced Alzheimer’s unit for 5 years and many of my clients over the past 25 years have been persons with Alzheimer’s Disease. I have only had one person in 25 years that in my written reports I assessed that the body no longer recognized my touch and/or the tone of my voice. I felt there was no beneficial involvement, for the client, in the relationship.. There was simply no detectable cellular recognition of the tactile bonding we shared.
Blessings,
Irene Smith
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Paul Norden, LMT on 10 Feb 2008 at 3:01 pm #
I continue to discover in ever more subtle ways how caring relationship is central in all my work with client’s
In my first experience working with a friend with Alzheimer’s, I was given so much more than I gave. His name was Lorin Kinsel and he spent most of his life giving to others as a chiropractor in northern Wisconsin. Both his parents were naturopaths. He told me that once, one of his patients could not afford to pay him, so he waived it off. But they came back and gave him chickens.
Who would have known that I would discover how massage would help Lorin by temporarily alleviating his mental suffering? Because of the short term memory loss and his other experiences in the mid-stages of the disease, sometimes I would show up for our appointment and he would be in a troubled or dark mood, often looking down at the ground dwelling on something in his mind. We would sit for a while and talk, and often soon he was willing to lie down for a massage. In a short time, he was often completely relaxed and when we were done, the mood and his memory of it were completely gone.
many blessings, - Paul
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