Presence Matters

Northern Virginia is awash in blossoming peonies of all colors – this spring’s crop seems particularly abundant. As we drove out to Leesburg yesterday, there were entire fence lines of the huge lush blossoms, hanging low as their strong slender stems valiantly struggled to support them.

I love the contrast of their subtle scent and their outrageous size and beauty. When they start to bloom something in me knows that spring has officially crossed a threshold. They make me smile.

For years I have tried to “help” mine with what I saw as “the annual struggle to stand up straight” – so their blossom-faces can smile up at the sun rather than being bowed over as though searching for something they lost on the ground. And each year the ones in my yard do stand a little straighter for a while – reaching a little taller with the help of my modified tomato cages. But in the end, those gorgeous huge blossoms seem to feel more comfortable curving back toward the earth. Hmmm…

Yesterday I got it. I can let go of this crusade. The peonies are exquisitely beautiful just as they are. And I can enjoy them just the way they are, faces up or down. I have a soft white peony bush. Then there are the pale pink and the deeper rose colored ones. They are all fabulous. I think I‘ll quit writing and go out in my yard – allow myself to drink them in – loving them just the way they are.

Enjoy!

Yesterday was my day to reflect on what motherhood means to me… it began early as I woke up my 6′3” son and remembered how it felt to hold him as a newborn… as I chatted with my daughter at college… as I called my mom to begin her Mother’s Day by reminding her that I love her and wished she were here… as my wonderful husband prepared a delicious brunch that I shared with two women friends who have been at the core of my extended family throughout my 22 years as a mother. Each of them has a special place in the hearts of my children. One helped in the labor and delivery of both children. The other has been an active aunt, helping my daughter in numerous ways across the years. Then I got to catch up with another dear friend who has been like a second mom to my son. Across the day, I weaved the web of connection in my life by extending love and appreciation to those who have stood by me as I have done my best to mother my children.

Motherhood – it has many facets and is not for the faint of heart. I have never felt such tenderness and love, or such fear for another person’s safety. It has been one of the most fulfilling things I have done so far in my life. It has stretched me in ways I would never have thought possible – painfully as times  - yet I am more whole, more capable, and more able to meet my life because of what I have experienced while weaving this web of life for these two exquisite souls who are my children.

Tenderness and toughness are required for good mothering, and they go hand in hand. Tenderness – that steady gaze of unconditional love combined with warm nurturing touch – is what feeds healthy emotional beings. Yet, extending only tenderness when firmness is appropriate, and the outcome is children who don’t understand healthy boundaries. Too much toughness leaves children with no sense of nurturing connection, no richness to feed their relationships. So I have done my best to extend both deep love and tenderness as well as a solid, grounded presence to my children. Time will tell if the balance I am offering is right for them. None of us do it perfectly, so I am sure I will hear about it later. And, that’s okay too.

To me, motherhood is ultimately about the web of life. Mothering (men do it too – did I mention that my husband created a fabulous brunch for us?) is the role of weaving together relationships – which make up the container that holds our lives, cradling us and giving us the emotional support we need to survive and thrive.

This web-weaving role is of vital importance in our world today. Its absence underlies many difficulties – personal and societal. Its presence offers immense rewards to all of us.

May we remember the gift of mothering everyday as we love and honor those who have loved us, and teach our children about the importance of these life-giving connections.

And, enjoy!

On this Easter Monday, I am struck by the meaning of this time of year for me. As many of you know, I grew up on the front pew of a Baptist church, with my father preaching almost every Sunday. The overarching message of Christianity for me is beautifully and simply said in an old Bible School chorus, “And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love, yes, they’ll know we are Christians by our love.”

I left the organized institution of the church when I left home, yet that primary teaching is still in every session I do, as it is for most of us if we are honest.

Christ’s primary message was one of love – agape – unconditional positive regard for humanity even with all of its shortcomings. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do,” were some of his last words, and also indicative of that agape presence for humankind.

When we hold a therapeutic presence for someone on our treatment table that positive regard is a key ingredient in the mix of the healing session. We care about the welfare of our fellow human beings. This caring is often a large part of why we do what we do.

As I hiked early Easter morning to greet the sunrise, I thought back to one of the things Christ did with his disciples at the last supper. He held and washed their feet. Their feet. Not their hands, or their backs, but their feet. As I felt my own feet touching the earth, I realized he was grounding them – and opening the doorway to connect with the rich field of the earth – a healthy resource they would need for support as the coming events unfolded.

As we watch parts of the modern media twist Christ’s initial message – purposely whipping people into states of fear and hatefulness – one way to counteract this energy is to create a wave of our own – a conscious wave of agape.

How can you do this? Start by slowing down, and feeling your feet on the ground. Then feel down into the earth under you. Breathe in that energy of love from the delicious spring air around you and remember who you truly are at a soul level. Agape is found in one form or another at the source of most major religions of the world. I say this to remind us all that love and kindness are found everywhere.

This time of year offers us a wonderful opportunity to remember this principle  - that serves and feeds us everyday in our practices and on out into our lives – whether we are Christian or Jew, Muslim or Buddhist, Hindu or Taoist. Weaving our common good into everything we do, in whatever way we make this connection for ourselves. The important thing is to remember to do more of it today and everyday. And, enjoy!

Dear Friends,

I AM SO excited to announce that the second edition of Full Body Presence: Learning to Listen to Your Body’s Wisdom is now available in local bookstores and your favorite online booksellers. And how timely it is! This “how to” guide is so helpful for people wanting to be more present in each moment – how to remain steady and calm under stress, as well as how to enjoy the sweet moments; and how to be more effective and energized in all that we do in our complex lives today.

We do indeed live in interesting times. The stress of daily life has never been greater. The wonder and joyful possibilities have also never been more available. And how do we navigate wisely through it all?

By living fully in the navigational system of the body with all its wisdom.

* More than ever we need to be in touch with and trusting of our gut hunches.

* More than ever we need the skills to support our compassionate hearts.

* More than ever we need clear discernment to ferret out deception and take action with integrity.

* More than ever we need to be able to walk in the world with our power and wisdom.

Full Body Presence offers you a step-by-step process that has depth and simplicity – so those who are advanced students, as well as beginners can find something of value here. It is the culmination and distillation of all that I have been teaching for the last twenty years, put into a form you can work with individually.

I firmly believe that at this time in history, books that guide us in quieting the inner critic and freeing us from the tyranny of fear are of vital importance. The more people who learn to live from their Full Body Presence, the greater our ability to meet the challenges and enjoy the sweet moments of our lives.

Would you share in creating the buzz?

Please support the launching of the second edition by helping me reach everyone who would benefit from the life skills and healing power of this book. Perhaps you could forward this blog to friends or clients who could benefit? The book is half the price of the original edition (the CD in the original edition has been replaced with an audio download), so more people can afford it. And, a high volume of sales in a single week can catapult a book to the New York Times Best Seller list. This increases the “buzz” in the publishing world, which in turn increases the likelihood of the book reaching the widest possible audience.

To help create the “buzz” order your books from BarnesandNoble.com or Amazon.com (at about a 30% discount). Retail sales are counted to figure such rankings, so please consider that option when you buy.

Read on for your thank you gift!

If you decide to purchase five or more copies of Full Body Presence, I invite you to join me for a teleconference as my way of saying “Thank You.”  I’ll be discussing how to utilize the skills in the book to vision and manifest what you want to create in your life. Simple drop us an email at Office@HealingFromTheCore.com when you have ordered five or more books and we will send you details about the teleconference.

Have you already read the book? If so, would you take a minute to write a review at your favorite online book seller? And, could you do it this week? Let us know when you post your review and we’ll include you in the Thank You

Teleconference, also!

Waves of gratitude for sharing in my journey and deepest inspirations,

Suzanne

Living in the greater Washington D.C. area has its benefits and I got to experience one of them this past weekend. An excellent documentary “Most Dangerous Man in America” was showing at the E Street Cinema and there was a small paragraph in the Washington Post under the review, saying that Daniel Ellsberg was actually going to be there after the 7:30pm showing to answer questions. Out of curiosity about this man, we got tickets and somehow ended up on the eighth row.

It is an exciting, very well done film. It tells the story behind the major events  that occurred – of Ellsberg’s profound change of heart – and how he followed his own internal moral compass as the Pentagon Papers (the top secret account of the deception perpetrated by a succession of U.S. Presidents from both parties regarding why we were fighting in Vietnam) came completely to light for the public to read and judge. As you may remember, one result was Nixon’s resignation rather than face possible impeachment.

It was a very important time in the history of this country – for free speech, for the ability of the press to publish pieces that were factual and yet very controversial because of how they exposed a weakness in our political system. It is clear from the film that he had no master plan when he began. He simply knew he had to do it. We get to watch as it all unfolds step by step  - as he followed his sense of integrity and acted with courage.

He could have faced life in prison for trying to stop a war he had originally helped plan. His early complicity and then profound change of heart are all there – we know how the story ends, yet it held our attention in every moment. I found myself racking my brain to remember what happened next. So I tell you all this to say, “Go see the movie!” It is excellent and its message is vital for multiple reasons to each of us in today’s world.

But beyond the film is the man himself. As he took his place in the front of the auditorium at the end of the film, there was no mistaking him. He is 78 and  his presence has not waned at all. He emanates a quiet, clear presence. His answers to pressing questions of today were well thought out, insightful and hopeful. I went with curiosity and no real expectations and I came away feeling much more optimistic about what I can do in my own world in terms of truth telling and courage.

The issue in the film is one of what to do with government secrecy  - today the issues are multiplied and even more complex. He acknowledged that (in response to some rather pointed questions), and said something like: the circumstances may be different today, but remember that we should never underestimate the power of one person to effect positive change.

And then he went on to the importance of  being open to possibilities that one might not have even conceived of up until that point in time. He cited the fact that no one expected the Berlin wall to fall or Nelson Mandela to be released from prison and go on to lead his country…and yet both of those events have happened since Daniel took his fateful path. Opening to new possibilities…important for all of us discouraged by recent Supreme Court decisions or the lack of positive movement in Congress…so, I left the theatre feeling hopeful. The added bonus was that my teenage son got to see a historical film that he actually found fascinating and see Daniel Ellsberg in person, all in one night. A great evening, I would say!

Here is a short review of the film for those of you wanting to know more http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G1SaatIp0w .

I am moved and inspired by recent remembrances of Ted Kennedy’s life and accomplishments. Something in the stories of who he was and how he lived has stirred something deep within me.

He was clearly a man who believed in redemption. He lived a full life – full-hearted, full of mistakes. Yet he was also full of integrity, and the belief that the world could be a better place if he worked to make it so.

He was brought to his knees many times throughout his career, physically, emotionally and politically. Yet each time, his capacity to recover and come back better enabled him to go on.

He had more loss and responsibility placed on his shoulders than most people experience in three lifetimes. What’s more impressive is what he did in response.

Yes, he grieved deeply. But each time he chose to pick up the torch and go on, strengthening his commitment to what he stood for – a better world where the voiceless get heard, where the poor are remembered, and where healthcare is universal and not a just privilege for those who can afford it.

Senator Kennedy was clearly a lifelong learner not afraid to try new things. With each mistake he made and each loss he suffered, he didn’t just endure them. He did not become more callous.

He grew from each experience no matter how painful, and he grabbed life more fully in the aftermath. His legacy of five decades of vital legislation and lasting friendships on both sides of the aisle bear witness to that fact.

He had another valuable trait that we all need to remember, especially now. He knew how to reach out for the resources he needed every step of the way.

His wife Victoria is credited with being a powerful resource that saved his life. The staff he trusted implicitly was a resource that made his work possible. Spending time on the ocean was a resource that renewed and healed him. Over and over, he connected with healthy resources that allowed him to carry on.

Someone shared that his generous spirit called those around him to higher ground, and to release their pettiness when there were differences between them. In story after story, I heard how he showed up for his friends, colleagues and family members in their own times of need and loss. He literally showed up at the door, called repeatedly, or used his presence to get them the help they needed.

Ted Kennedy was a man of tremendous presence, born from a family imbued with an essence that mandated them to “do good” and create a better world. He clearly contributed to that. But what’s impressed me most was his hard work and unflagging persistence in “staying the course,” day in and day out, for more than five decades in the Senate.

He used his gifts and he persisted. And his presence grew from that.

When all is said and done, Ted Kennedy’s hard work and daily commitment to what he believed in left us with a legacy like none other.

As bodyworkers, we have a tremendous amount to give in the “do good” department. Now I’m even more inspired to make a difference in all ways, large and small, in my own world given my gifts.

None of us is perfect or even close. Ted Kennedy is a testament to that, too. But what we do supports health. What we do helps people relax and relieve themselves of pressure. What we do reduces stress and helps people manage their lives better.

We help them feel more at home in the incredible navigational system of their bodies. And living from inside their bodies leads to wiser decisions, better self-esteem, more creativity and more joy. That’s a vital role we serve in healthcare, now and in the coming decades.

So your mandate, should you choose to accept it, is to stay your own course. Grab life with both hands and live it. Grow from the adversity life hands you and learn from it all.

Learn to take care of yourself. People are depending on you.

And persist. Keep sharing your gifts. When the time comes, your eulogy will be filled with what you want it to say – all the ways in which you made a positive difference in your world.

In the meantime…enjoy!

As I settle back into life in Virginia I am struck by the gift of diversity that I have in my life. I could not Twitter easily at Esalen with no cell phone service there, so I begin this blog with all the journal entries I could not send from California, and finish up with my re-entry into Virginia last week:

7/9 – My trip began with a visit to New World Library in Novato, CA. We talked through their plans for the second edition of Full Body Presence due out in March of 2010.  I was really impressed  by the quality and thoughtfulness of their team. I felt like they really understood the message of the book. I left there feeling very hopeful and excited.

7/12 – Late afternoon – Coming through the front gate at Esalen Institute! What a joy to be back in this place that feels like my second home. I soak in the late afternoon sun on the ocean, taking a mineral bath  in one of the large stone tubs with my assistants as we catch up with each other before the course starts tonight.

7/13 – Early morning fog has rolled in from the horizon – I zip up my polartec jacket and breathe deeply. The air is exquisite – I can almost feel it feeding and rejuvenating my cells. I feel my heart open as I catch sight of the ocean on the turn in the path approaching the lodge.

7/14 – The smell of lavender and rosemary as I walk down the path to the lodge is so rich. The air is quite cool and crisp, yet it easily carries the scent of these healing plants to my waiting nostrils – ahhh…breathing is such a pleasure!

7/15 – The early morning bird sounds here are different than in Virginia – I am fascinated by the number of birds and their distinct calls.

7/15 – Late night singing in the moonlight sitting around the fire outside the lodge with Cole, J.J., and others. I love to sing almost anything!

7/16 – Soaking in a mineral-bath that I have filled at just the right temperature, looking out over the ocean…someone sights whales and we all turn our eyes to the horizon. Connecting with the whales and dolphins always brings me an expanded sense of who we are in the bigger of picture of all species on the planet. And that is done more easily here – with Daniel Bianchetta’s fabulous photography of whale and dolphin visitations he has made up and down the coast here, that is currently exhibited in the lodge where we eat all our meals.

7/17 – As Healing From the Core: Grounding and Healthy Boundaries comes to a close, I am struck again by the diversity of the participants who have shown up and learned skills to take home – giving them more resilience, more grounding, and better capacity to connect in their worlds with healthy boundaries.

7/17 – Congratulations are in order on two fronts – Lori Chinitz has finished her apprenticeship and is now a full certified Instructor of Healing From the Core: Grounding and Healthy Boundaries. Cheri Bailey is now a full certified Presenter. I am thrilled for both of them. Although I must say, I will miss having Lori team teaching with me!

7/18 – In the morning the garden here at Esalen is magnificent. The fragrance of the different flowers that bathe my senses as I walk through on my way to class lifts my spirits. Isaye Barnwell is here doing her magic – I am learning to write songs! Her gift for bringing us all into song are legendary.

7/18- In the afternoon, different flowers are sending out their scents to fill us all up as we wander through, humming our “would-be songs” under our breaths on our way to lunch. What a gift!

7/19 – I continue to be amazed at how the cool, ocean-charged air energizes me. I am already noticing that the hill walking is much easier, more effortless, even with my back pack on. My joints and legs are actually enjoying the climbing.

7/24 – The entire environment here is delicious. The food is delicious. AND someone else is cooking and cleaning up. The staff is friendly and helpful. The mineral baths are a gathering place for relaxed sharing. And, did I mention that the air is cool, clear and energizing?

7/31 – Being here with the relaxed schedule of “Esalen time”, allows me time to linger over my meals, talking to folks I might not have had time to share with elsewhere. For instance, I have loved getting to know John and Maggie Murphy and their family better this summer.

8/2 – John Murphy  just taught a workshop called “The Miracle of Water” with Peter Zimmerman and it was wonderful by all accounts. His workshop reminds me that all the forms of water on this property are truly miraculous. The fog, the springs, the streams, the ocean – wow!

8/3 – Healing the Pelvic Floor: Reclaiming Your Power, Sexuality and Pleasure Potential has begun and we are housed in the Big House this year. What a wonderful cozy environment this meeting space offers.

8/4 – Sharing is rich in this diverse circle of women, all here learning to heal the deepest parts of themselves.

8/4 – A magical moon fills the night sky as I walk back to my room – almost full, shining off the ocean. It feels like a movie set, it is so beautiful.

8/5 – 8-9 p.m.  Got to share about “Full Body Presence” with the entire community in a Wednesday night program that was very well attended and received. I love what I do!

8/6 – Under the full moon - our women’s nurturing evening at the baths was rich and easy this year.

8/7 – 1o:30 p.m. Singing in the lodge with J.J., Pearl and others – Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” seems to be a favorite this year. The harmonies are endless and we all end smiling.

8/7 -Late afternoon –  two of my favorite co-leaders have arrived: Rachel Abrams and Lisa Carlton. We begin our collaboration tonight with all the participants in Becoming a Vital Healthy Woman.

8/8 – I am amazed by how much information can be transmitted to a group of open, willing participants when Lisa Carlton and Rachel Abrams are on my team! We have had a great time and it seems as though it has gone to a new level of ease this year.

8/9 – My time at Esalen is coming to a close. I am almost running up and down the hills now. I know I keep talking about the air, but there is something very special and healing about the clear, ocean air here that seems to soak into my bones – energizing me in a way nothing else does. I get in one last soak at the baths – again, a unique form of nurturing that I only find here at Esalen.

8/10 – As  Jessica and I drive north on Highway One, I am awed by the coastline once again. The ocean’s light blue into dark blue color, the coves and beaches, the breathtaking views. I will miss you, Big Sur!

8/11 – As I emerge from Dulles Airport into the Virginia night, I am immediately struck by the rich velvet quality of the warm, moist air. It feels like it is hugging me, welcoming me back.

8/12 – I am walking again, around my home lake – Lake Audubon, and it occurs to me that the two environments are very complementary. The Esalen environment feels like to frees up something inside of me – creating a sense of spaciousness in my head. The Virginia environment hugs me close, letting me know that I am home.

8/13 – As I walk in the early morning here, I am struck by the orchestra of nature sounds. I don’t even need my iPod to have a rhythm for walking. The late summer insects are a veritable harmony unto themselves. Every time I think about putting on my iPod, I hear a new group join in as another one fades back. What a gift!

8/14 – Teaching my second Healing From the Core: Grounding and Healthy Boundaries course in a month – this one in my home town of Reston, VA. Again,I am struck by the diversity of participants and the skills they are learning. I am in awe of the deep healing I see people doing in the class.

8/16 – As we complete the course, I realize how wide spread the applications are for all of us in today’s world. I look back over the last six weeks and see how my perception of Full Body Presence has expanded. I know this may sound strange, because I am the author, but I was shown this summer, how universal and valuable the book’s message is. More on that in my next blog – hope you are enjoying your summer as much as I am enjoying mine!

I was driving the other day on a two-lane road that widened to include a passing lane for a brief period. I found myself automatically speeding up to pass the person in front of me.

They were not driving particularly slowly. I just unconsciously kicked into gear to pass them. As I did, it struck me that I have been doing that all my life. Raised with a brother only 15 months younger, and a sister several years behind him, I had spent my life pushing myself to stay at the head of the pack.

The rivalry between my brother and me was particularly fierce. When he died in 1996, I grieved deeply, and in that process, got to ask myself who would I have been without my brother? It was a mind-boggling concept to wrap around at the time. Now, 13 years later, I can answer it a little bit better.

So, this was not the first time I had realized that this default stance, or autopilot programming, was running behind the screen of my conscious awareness. Yet, I am still surprised each time I discover it (which I do periodically). Then I take the necessary steps to turn off the autopilot, once I realize it is “driving the bus” of my existence.

When I first discovered it years ago, I thought of it as a positive trait. I was somehow proud of it.

Then I came to realize how it kept me out in the future all the time. So I set out to let it go. That is easier said than done! But now, years later, I actually have skills that help me drop back and enjoy each moment more fully and easily.

In that moment, driving down the highway I just chuckled, “There I go again!” And then I slowed down and let my car drop back behind the other car. I took a few deep slow breaths and let myself relax. There truly was in no hurry. Just my autopilot gone temporarily amuck.

This experience reminded that I needed some attention spent in this area. Last fall, after spending over a year in high gear to get my book completed and published, this autopilot program was clearly running. I was stunned to realize that I was having a hard time slowing down. My family could have told you that easily, but I was oblivious. What was the next task? Put me on it, and watch me run!

So this year has been about reclaiming my ability to slow down and enjoy life. It has been extremely busy, but each time I catch myself speeding up unnecessarily, I laugh and let go.

How do I do this? First, I don’t judge myself. I take a deep breath… I take another deep breath. I feel my feet on the ground. I take an honest inventory of whether or not I really need to go faster. Then I act on that assessment.

I was rushing, packing it all in. However, since I recognized the autopilot pattern, I have been systematically letting it all go. I take a nap. I take a walk. (Note: not a run, a walk.) Maybe get a massage. Or a long catch up session with a friend on the phone. A long soak in a hot bath. Snuggle with my sweetie, my kids or my cats on the couch.

Life is too sweet to rush through. It took me a lot of years to realize this.

The issue of resilience is in the air since the publishing of Elizabeth Edward’s new book. It is a timely and valuable subject since so many people are facing such adversity in their lives right now – emotional, financial, and health-related issues.

How we respond to stress and adversity defines the quality of our lives. Life’s stressors are not going away. The only thing we really have any control over at all is how we respond to what life presents to us. And, our ability to respond well – defined as making choices that enhance our life experience – is dependant in large part on our resilience.

In a recent interview about her new book, “Resilience”, Elizabeth Edwards gives us her definition,

“I talk about my father’s dealing with his life after he had a stroke. I think that resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had, the reality that you liked before. That’s what my dad did. He still grabbed hold of what was left and lived it as fully as he could.” (italics mine)

My own father had a unique and wonderful way of demonstrating this for me when I was growing up. If a difficult situation came up, rather than reacting negatively, he would use it as an opportunity to “put on his thinking cap” and rise to meet the challenge, especially if someone tried to tell him that the problem was unsolvable.  

My earliest memory of this talent was one Christmas vacation when I was about eight years old. We were driving to my grandparent’s cabin in Fort Valley, Virginia when it began to snow, hard. By the time we got to the final leg of our journey -  a long dirt road up a steep incline to their cabin – the snow was almost three feet deep and still coming down. There were two other cars stuck at the bottom of the hill with my uncles huddled around them looking worried and defeated. They were about to abandon their cars and carry all their stuff on foot up the long steep hill through the deep snow. We were tired and grumpy as kids usually are after such a long time in the car.

However, when my Dad looked over the whole situation and yelled to my uncles that he was “going for it”, our tiredness turned to excitement. I remember him backing up the car, getting up speed and charging up the hill, slipping and sliding all the way.

Over and over, we watched as he got part of the way up and had to back down and start again. Each time he would get a little farther up the hill, until, finally we were all at the top – all three cars – and everyone was feeling exuberant rather than defeated.

Then, there was the time (obviously before the days of security checkpoints), when we arrived late for a flight. The ticket agent looked at us and said, “ You have exactly nine minutes to make it to your gate.” Dad looked at all of us with that gleam in his eye and said, “You want to run for it?” Well, run we did, and we made the flight, seconds to spare, breathless and triumphant.

He emanated this wonderful sense of adventure and creativity in times of adversity.

The other day I was working with a young woman in her late twenties who had recently been home visiting her parents. She went to sit down in a chair and it collapsed. She found herself suddenly sitting on the floor, unharmed, but to her surprise, feeling anxious and frozen in place.

 As we explored it further, she told me that when she was younger, her Dad would beat her with a belt if anything ever went wrong. It didn’t matter whose fault it was, and it happened so frequently that it became an automatic response to freeze, waiting for the blows she knew were inevitable. 

So her recent response was understandable, but outdated and crippling to her as an adult woman – to be frozen with anxiety because of something that was an accident?

In her trauma response, in that moment, she had no resilience, no ability to see the situation as it currently stood, and thus no ability to respond in a creative, life-enhancing way. 

Slowly we worked together to release the old nervous system response and bring her body and its ability to be resilient, into the present moment where she is safe and capable of taking care of herself quite well. 

Memories of my Dad coached me all the way – if he had been there when the chair broke, he would have gotten that gleam in his eye and probably headed to the garage for the tools to fix it, all the while engaging her in how to creatively solve the problem of a faulty chair.

When the time was right, I shared the image of my father’s likely response, and she was astonished. Then she laughed and decided that his was the attitude she wanted to hold next time something went wrong. My story helped expand her view about how differently a parent could react in situations like that. 

By the time we finished, she no longer felt like a scared little girl. Her power had returned and she had practiced how she could respond in the future.

A colleague and friend, Kathy Burns, gave me another definition the other day as we were discussing this issue.

“Resilience is the ability to accept what is actually happening, with as little judgment as possible, so that you can take clear, wise action about it – to make the best of it.”

Then she laughed and added,

“This acceptance issue is a huge step for most people, particularly when the situation isn’t what they bargained for, or even faintly wanted.”

Life can really throw some hard stuff at us these days. To be disappointed, angry, frustrated or depressed over a turn of events is normal and even appropriate at times. The problem is when you stay there, stuck in an emotional soup that keeps you paralyzed and unhappy.  

The skill of knowing how to expand your lens on what is happening is one worth cultivating, so that you can get the perspective to be able let go of whatever judgment is hounding you. With this acceptance comes an expanded capacity to creatively problem solve, in ways that are not available when you are locked up emotionally, or frozen with anxiety or worry. 

My father modeled resilience for me. It guides me all the time these days. And when I share his wisdom, it guides others as well. Although he is no longer walking on the planet with me, part of him lives on in me. I know that would please him to no end. Thanks Dad!

I am delighted to announce that Full Body Presence is stepping out into a wider audience – New World Library (think Eckhart Tolle’s publisher of “The Power of Now”) has bought the rights to the second edition of “Full Body Presence”! Coming to a bookstore near you early next year. I am feeling deep gratitude to everyone who has helped me, my work and my first book arrive at this point.

The buzz about the book is growing steadily, and I am touched by how many people of all different ages, professions and walks of life are being positively impacted by what the book has taught them. I love hearing about it. It is encouraging and heartwarming for me. 

Have you read Full Body Presence yet? If so, please comment here on my blog or email me directly at healingfromthecore@comcast.net . Please, share any insights you may have gotten as you read it and listened to the audio. Tell me how this book has made a difference in your life. Please, also let me know if I can quote you on my website.

AND, the upcoming second edition means that the remaining books are now limited edition items. So, in celebration of the contract with New World Library Publishers, all books sold through our website in the next month will be personally signed by me. 

One of the other ways I am celebrating is with an Author’s Party, given for me by a local friend and colleague. If I am in your area in the next year, I would love to come and celebrate with you as well! Contact my office athealingfromthecore@comcast.net if you are interested. 

Coming next month.…the book will be on iTunes, and on our website totally in MP3 audio format – I’ll keep you posted when that is available for those of you who are audio book fans! 

And now you can also keep up to date with me and Healing From the Core with Twitter, Facebook  and LinkedIn. Stay in touch, and, enjoy!