Anyone who provides care to another person faces the challenge of finding a balance between providing that care and taking care of themselves. This is true whether you’re a mother, a caretaker for someone who is ill, a healthcare professional who provides care to patients or a massage therapist who provides treatment (relaxation or otherwise) to clients.
It’s common for people who provide care to feel that they want to “give their all”, to make a truly substantial effort for others. This is natural: we all want to do our best, we care about others and we want to provide great care. The needier the person receiving the care, the more we feel we need to give, to respond to that need. In a professional situation, we also feel a pressure to perform, so the client will return to us for another massage, or to satisfy the demands of our employer, who may require us to “give it everything we’ve got.”
In addition, professionals who provide care tend to concentrate all of their attention on their patient or client. They are on the lookout for the client’s reactions, so they can tell if the treatment is effective. So they tend to shut out anything that may distract them during the treatment, including their own reactions, both physical and emotional.
All of this is natural and occurs very often in these types of relationships. The problem is that while it’s very rewarding in many ways to provide care, it can also be taxing and tiring, both physically and emotionally. If we become too taxed or tired, injury can occur.
For this reason, much has been written recently about the need for caretakers of all kinds to take breaks from caretaking, to address their own needs, and to receive support so they don’t get overwhelmed by the stress of the care they provide. It’s important for massage therapists to realize that they give quite a lot of themselves in their work, and to find ways to replenish their energy and refresh their spirits so they don’t end up feeling “burned out” by their work.
It’s also important to retain some amount of focus and energy for yourself during a massage. It’s usually not necessary to “give everything you’ve got” to give a great massage, nor to be so focused on the client that you lose all awareness of your body mechanics or ergonomics. A symptom of losing awareness is losing track of the time. In my experience, therapists who tend to go over an hour because they’ve “lost track of the time” are usually those who have lost their self-awareness and want to give so much that they are no longer setting limits. This is different than planning on doing a massage that lasts longer than an hour, which is a conscious decision.
It’s ultimately not healthy to be totally concentrated on your client and to give your all at all times. It’s not healthy for you, and eventually, it can have a negative impact on the client-therapist relationship. Hurting yourself to help someone else is contrary to the spirit of a therapeutic relationship, and it doesn’t help anyone, neither you nor your client.
It is absolutely possible to provide great treatment, be totally present for the client, and also be there for yourself and stay aware of your own needs. In fact, the only way to have healthy relationships of any kind is to be able to balance your own needs with the needs of the person you’re with, so you remain centered and whole as a person.
Be good to yourself – you deserve as much consideration as any of your clients do. By taking care of your own health (including preventing work-related injury), you’ll ensure that you’ll be able to continue providing great treatments to your clients for years to come.