Growing from the Inside Out

So many of the male massage therapists I speak to see that their gender is their biggest limitation. I can understand that line of thinking, because at one time I thought that way. There is no denying that massage therapy is a female-dominated field. But it is not female-dominance that makes being a male a limitation. It is the BELIEF that being a male is a limitation that makes it a limitation.

For every male therapist I’ve spoken to who is crying the blues for his lack of success, I’ve met another male therapist who is thriving. In my own experience, I realized that as long as I went after the nurturing, comfort massage client, I would have a hard time building my business. So I specialized in pain relief. I trained extensively with John F. Barnes and gained expertise in myofascial release. I adopted a tagline, “Therapeutic Massage for Pain Releif.” My office looks more like a clinic than a spa. I built a very successful massage practice.

The most important thing I realized was that my business’ success had very little to do with how I appeared, and everything to do with what I believed about myself. Once I found my niche, it was easy to ask $100 for an hour of treatment. I never found resistance to my price. Why? Because I believed that my services are worth it. If someone is in pain, then my services become a necessity, not a luxury item.

As long a therapist, male or female, thinks that they are limited in some way, and that this limitation is keeping them from growing, they will not grow. Our success is shaped by what we believe about our success. As long as you see yourself as the effect of outside circumstances, you will be. Once you see yourself as your own cause–that you are the one who shapes your world–then you will be. Victim thinking will always keep you the victim. Victor thinking will do the same: when you see yourself as the victor, then victory is yours!

‘Til next time,

Woody

There are people who set their goals so low, that they are aiming for the very failure they are fearing. These are people who “know themselves” so well that they expect failure. They never risk, because their life experience has told them that they will fail before they even try. The world somehow is against them. These people do not know themselves. If they knew their true selves, they would know a genius, someone born to succeed. So what these people know instead, is a lie that they have come to believe as truth.

The path of self mastery is the path of exposing these lies, and at the same time, discovering the Truth about ourselves. The Truth is that we are perfect and only believe that we are not. The Truth is that there are no failures, only opportunities. The Truth is that we WILL accomplish anything we believe we can. If we believe we will accomplish failure, we do. If we believe that we will accomplish success, we will.

So self-mastery is the path of choices. We choose what to believe. We choose to persist at a worthy goal. We choose to set the worthy goal. There is no more worthy goal than Self-Mastery. This goal is made up of three parts:
1.     Understanding and taking joy in believing that each of us has a unique gift to offer the world and that we are able to present that gift when we are our truly authentic selves.
2. Discovering (which is really remembering) what that truly authentic self is.
3. Sharing who we are with the world.

When we live believing the lies that tell us that we are not good enough, smart enough, or any other message that tells us we are undeserving, then our lives are spent trying to attain something from outside ourselves, that only we have the power to give to ourselves. We are born worthy. Being unworthy is a self-defeating belief, but not the Truth. Shedding those limiting and self-defeating beliefs is part of the journey to self-mastery, because until we do, we are not our truly authentic selves.

What would happen to your practice if you embraced the path to self-mastery? What would be your clients’ experience if you shed the lies that blind you to your higher self?

‘Til next time,

Woody

I recently spoke to a massage therapist who came to me for a coaching session. It became very evident as we spoke that she lacked confidence. This seems to be a common theme among therapists looking to grow their practices. I asked her what would make her more confident. She responded that having more training and more certifications would make her more confident. I told her that I have a coaching colleague who holds 6 degrees, and still lacks confidence, and this person is in her 60s.

When we think that our lack of confidence can be cured by more training, or anything else outside of ourselves, we are not on the right track. One can have hundreds of hours of continuing education, and still not be confident. In fact, thinking that it is a lack of training is putting one into the realm of dangerous thinking. Why dangerous? Because it is saying that growth is how we overcome lack. As long as the focus is on lack, there will always be lack. How much training is enough to overcome feelings of inadequacy?

What really is going on here is that inner voice that says, “I’m got good enough”. I call this voice the gremlin. We all have it, and to each of us, the message is that we are inadequate because of some intrinsic lack.

Training and experience will give you more proficiency. but they won’t instill confidence. Confidence is a function of our beliefs. We have to believe that we are good enough, smart enough, capable enough. When we believe that we are worth $80 a massage, we are then worth $80 a massage. If we ask for our fee like we’re asking permission to charge for what we do, this lack of confidence will cripple our practice.

Imagine two therapists. One is not very good, but is very confident; the other has phenomenal hands and a brilliant intuitive touch, but lacks confidence. If a prospective client has to decide between the two of them based on only a conversation, who is going to get the appointment? This is why confidence is essential–it is a critical factor that determines your future success.

If you lack confidence, it is important to learn what is blocking you. You have some limiting beliefs. “I lack training” is a limiting belief. “I’ll never be good at marketing” is a limiting belief. Neither of these are true unless you believe them to be true. Henry Ford said, “If you think you can or think you cannot, in either case you are correct”.

Where does confidence come from? Within. It is a choice. It is a belief. What will it take for you to believe in yourself?

’til next time,

Woody