May 23 2010
On being a Male Therapist
So many of the male massage therapists I speak to see that their gender is their biggest limitation. I can understand that line of thinking, because at one time I thought that way. There is no denying that massage therapy is a female-dominated field. But it is not female-dominance that makes being a male a limitation. It is the BELIEF that being a male is a limitation that makes it a limitation.
For every male therapist I’ve spoken to who is crying the blues for his lack of success, I’ve met another male therapist who is thriving. In my own experience, I realized that as long as I went after the nurturing, comfort massage client, I would have a hard time building my business. So I specialized in pain relief. I trained extensively with John F. Barnes and gained expertise in myofascial release. I adopted a tagline, “Therapeutic Massage for Pain Releif.” My office looks more like a clinic than a spa. I built a very successful massage practice.
The most important thing I realized was that my business’ success had very little to do with how I appeared, and everything to do with what I believed about myself. Once I found my niche, it was easy to ask $100 for an hour of treatment. I never found resistance to my price. Why? Because I believed that my services are worth it. If someone is in pain, then my services become a necessity, not a luxury item.
As long a therapist, male or female, thinks that they are limited in some way, and that this limitation is keeping them from growing, they will not grow. Our success is shaped by what we believe about our success. As long as you see yourself as the effect of outside circumstances, you will be. Once you see yourself as your own cause–that you are the one who shapes your world–then you will be. Victim thinking will always keep you the victim. Victor thinking will do the same: when you see yourself as the victor, then victory is yours!
‘Til next time,
Woody
I have talked about this for a long time on my blog and website men as massage therapists.
http://thebodyworker.com/massage_blog/men-as-massage-therapists/
I have seen men who say on the phone ‘so would you like a woman or man’? That should not even be asked.
I think men could actually market themselves in a way that points out peoples so called ‘fear’ of men as massage therapists. Men don’t like to be massaged by men (unless they are gay) thinking that it makes them gay or makes them less of a man or whatever it is and women have issues with being massaged by men because of abuse or not trusting men. I think if male massage therapists addressed these issues directly and started talking about how massage can help people heal those fears and judgments that they could be onto something big!
Julie Onofrio
http://www.thebodyworker.com
http://www.massage-career-guides.com
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Woody, while I agree with the main thrust of your article – we decide our own limitations in all we do – the fact is that, especially for a newly qualified MT, it is much harder to get accepted as a male.
I took a similar path to you; in my case I specialized in Lymphatic Drainage & Russian medical massage & now attract clients with fibrmyalgia, Lupus, post operative pain and so on.
When I first started, however I was frequently told, “Sorry, we are looking for a female.” I still see female-only ads, even on the job board at Boulder College of Massage Therapy which prides itself to excess on being politically correct.
When dealing with new clients i usually let them know that it’s OK to bring a friend or spouse to sit in on the session. This works well with referals hurting from liposuction and that kind of thing, who are the kind of people who have always previously thought of massage as a pampering, spa-type of experience.
I couldn’t agree more Woody. It’s all attitude.
I couldn’t agree more with you there Woody. Once I shifted my way of thinking, it made a big difference.