Be careful what you say when you touch someone.
“Wow! It feels like rocks in there,” the massage therapist said, as she touched my shoulder during a seated massage, received while traveling a few weeks ago. I sat there and wondered, “What am I supposed to think or say in response to that?” This is my body, the home of my being. It is what it is!
Her touch was very good, but the image of rocks was unsettling to say the least. So as I think about it now, I wonder what would I rather she had said to me. Perhaps nothing – just let the touch work its magic. Maybe a question, like “How does this feel?” or “How can I help you?” Let me, the client, have my own experience rather than the projection of a dissonant image.
A participant in a recent workshop I taught, herself a health professional, told me that massage therapists always comment on how tight she is. She asked me, “Does everyone say that? It doesn’t help me feel better about myself. In fact, it makes me leery of getting a massage.”
This was a potent reminder to me of the power of words. Yes, touch has the power to hurt or to feel, and so do words. Let the same healing intention that guides your touch, also guide your words. If judgments arise – and they usually do – just keep your silence and let them go. The healing power of touch is enough.
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